Singer Lena Katina gave an interview to Zvuk, where she recalled how she started her career, her life after t.A.T.u. and her relationship with her first husband. The singer also talked about raising her children and shared the story of how she met her second husband, entrepreneur Dmitry Spiridonov.

Lena Katina remembered how she felt during t.A.T.u.’s peak and explained what a teenager goes through when they experience fame.

It was an unreal feeling. It is hard to believe that it is actually happening to you. At one point you begin to lose your mind…Stardmon is about arrogance, looking down at people, it is when you are expecting special treatment. For artists it is considered normal, they are artists and can allow this. But I do not spend a lot of time around my colleagues. I have a family life and little kids. And I spend a lot of time going out when we first started out. The project started when I was 14, right at puberty. At 16 we had already gone on tour and there was a huge amount of parties, clubs, interacting with colleagues and with other artists, sleepless nights. And by the time I was in my 20s I just got tired and it stopped being interesting.

During her youth, the singer did not know how to relax, which caused her to experience a nervous breakdown and illnesses.

When I twas in t.A.T.u. I never rested, which is why we each had nervous breakdowns and fevers. I remember when Julia had a nervous breakdown right before the new year. We had to leave for a concert, but she was laying down and could not get up. I had this happen to me too. We had ongoing concerts we had to fly out to, but I had a fever and a horrible headache. Our concert director came to me and tried to get me up, but my mom said, “I won’t let her go!”. A neurologist and an ambulance came and everyone said, “She has to rest for at least three days”. Our director said, “We can carry her out on a stretcher” and my mom goes, “Is she going to perform on a stretcher on stage as well?”. We had to cancel the concert.

It was hard for Lena Katina to cope with publicity and lack of personal space.

I don’t remember ever having an emotional burnout. More like just general fatigue when you stop valuing what you have. You always have a camera around you, fame, money, everyone is squeezing when they see you. In that moment you just want to hide. But you don’t have a place to do that, you are always in view. You cannot go to a restaurant and eat in peace. And in the moment when you are taking a bite, someone will come up and ask for a photo.

You cannot get used to this. Sooner or later everyone breaks down you wants to hide in their shell. When you are always on display you give away energy and that is hard to endure. You need to give yourself breaks and relax, because no one will think of you except you. The business has a schedule, numbers, a development strategy. This is also understandable because the project is directed by people who need to make it a success. And we are working. Everyone works, but we also experience all of this physically.

I had a period when I wouldn’t even take photos with my family. I would shake until I was nauseous when I saw the camera lens.

Before this were promo tours. We would leave for two or three weeks and every day would be a new country. And in every one of them you would have 20-30 interviews and between them there would also be two or three photo sessions. Then 50 radio stations. Then in the evening you need to perform on some show. And it is like this non-stop. You stop understanding which country you are in, when you need to sleep, or when you need to eat. It is so much pressure that you just want to shut down and not speak, just be in silence. This is why I stopped going to parties, I was so tired of them. I was also a bookwork, so when everyone would go hangout I would go to my hotel room and read.

After the band fell apart the artist fell into depression and did not know how to move forward. Boris Renskiy helped her start a solo career.

After t.A.T.u. ended I experienced emptiness and depression. I would lay and think of how to keep living. Basically, when we split in 2009, everything was coming to a logical end. But when it was really over I could not understand where to go or what to do next.

It was a very hard period. I saw that I was not adjusting to it. I went to a psychologist and said, “I think I am depressed” and we began working together. At one point Boris Renskiy called me, who was originally t.A.T.u.’s investor – the band was basically his idea. He said, “Lena, do you want to try creating a solo career?”. Of course I wanted to and I was really happy, but it was so scary. I am a wuss in real life. But regardless I said I wanted to. He talked to our musicians who live in the U.S. and offered for me to fly to them for a couple of months and try to record something. So we went and try to write songs, to create a new project. Except now I was the full-fledged participant. I was “forced” to be an author. They pushed me, but it was a huge personal growth. I am unbelievably grateful for that push.

It was a huge step out of my comfort zone, but I acquired a lot of new things – skills, confidence, personal growth. I cannot say I reached the same level of fame as t.A.T.u. had. This is impossible. If you put that as a goal that will be a road to depression. But you need to compete, you need to go and do what you love. Maybe before there was a stadium and now it is a small club, but it is your own thing.

The singer also recalled how she started her relationship with her first husband, Sasho Kuzmanovich and how it was to become a mom for the first time.

We started a relationship and after a little over three years we got married. Then we had a child and moved back to Moscow. For me giving birth in America was unrealistic. None of my relatives were around. At home I had an apartment, my mom, grandma, friends, other mothers who could give advice.

Becoming a mom for the first time is very hard. I am actually a control freak, everything needs to be in order. When we decided to have a child I could not get pregnant for about 7 months. It turns out that this is normal, but at the time I thought something was wrong with me. Then, when we arrived, I carried the baby for a week, which ended in a cesarean section.

I planned to give birth without an epidural and then feed the child a minimum of 6 months, but things did not go according to plan. I was not ready for this at all. I had a thought that if I could birth him myself then I did not fulfill my womanly duty. After that I had postpartum depression. You sign out, come home, the child is sleeping and eating during the day, then starts to scream at night. So the whirlwind starts – lack of sleep, the child not taking to the chest. Again nothing was working out, breastfeeding is not working, so you feel like you’re less of a woman. So not only could I not give birth myself, now I couldn’t even feed him.

Lena talked about the reason for her divorce from her first husband.

We had very different outlooks on the future. I initiated the divorce because we tried everything and nothing was working. At some point I understood that it would be better if we split. I realized that if I did not make that hard decision then, it would be worse for us and for the child. We were happy together, but then we started complaining, constant fighting and unhappiness. What held me together was that we were married, but how could I allow this behavior? So I went to church, got a blessing for divorce, and they allowed me to do it.

I think this decision saved all of us. We told Sasha that the divorce had nothing to do with him, that mom and dad love him. We said, “We had a home together, and now we have different homes. Dad loves you there and mom loves your here”. It was extremely difficult, your heart breaks into pieces when your child cries and says, “Why can’t we live together with dad like before?”.

Now Sasha lives with me and his dad flies in for winter holidays with his girlfriend Christina, who adores Sasha. They have a great relationship, she is a wonderful person, I am in love with her myself. In the summer I send Sasha to his dad’s. So everything is fine, we are all in a good relationship. I think it is great.

The secret is probably to forgive each other. Then all the issues go away by themselves. I think it is normal to save a relationship. Especially if you have a child together. We have 10 years of life that has tied us together, there was a lot of happiness and great moments, and we have a great child. He sees that mom and dad meet up, hug, laugh, talk, decide certain things. My mom and dad are divorced and their whole life is like this. My dad would come over when my mom already lived with another man, my stepfather Oleg. Everyone would sit together and chat. For me this is normal and I tried to create these kinds of respectful human relationships.

Lena Katina talked about how she met businessman Dmitry Spiridonov, to whom she is now married.

When we got divorced, I said goodbye to Sasho as he got in his taxi and left to Slovenia. Of course I stood there, cried, and then felt better. Like the weight was off my shoulders. I never felt as if someone had left me. Maybe because the divorce was my decision. At some point I did not want anything or anyone. I decided that I will live alone and that I do not need a man. But then I got a feeling that I wanted to have a partner in life.

One night I was putting Sasha to bed and he asked, “Mom, when will there be a child?” and I said, “For there to be a child means that mom needs a man who will love us and want to be a family together”. Sasha said, “Mom, let’s write an ad tomorrow that we need a man so we can have a child. And we will put it across the neighborhood”. I laughed for half the night. Anyway, just when I decided that I don’t need anyone at all, I meet Dima.

I was invited to perform for his birthday. Then he took photos with me backstage, like a fan. My lawyer told me, “Lena, you should take a closer look at the birthday boy, he is a handsome guy”. And I answered, “What’s there to look at, he probably has a whole escort of women. Why does he need me? I have a child, I tour a lot, and he can have anyone he wants”.

After some time my concert director told me that the same customer had invited me to perform at a corporate party. I performed, everyone was happy, and as I am going home he writes me a message inviting me to perform at another corporate party and admitting that he really wants me to go out to dinner with him. I decided to go so I can break my routine and chat, but I did not have any expectations.

We went to the restaurant where we first met. We ate, walked around, he showed me where he lived, and we ended the date. That same day I found out that the day after I was going to Africa, and he offers to go out again tomorrow. Everything was friendly, but with some kind of a hint for a closer relationship. Later her told me that during that time he was thinking, “She is an artist, she is gonna date me and dump me because I bet she has a line of cool dudes after her”. The story is truly a fairytale.

Imagine how I felt when less than a year after he made me an offer. I told him that I do not want to get married. But he wanted to formalize the relationship. We got married and he said “We need to have a child”. And we had Demyan, who is one and four months already. He is very funny and smart.

Lena made sure than Sasha did not get jealous of his younger brother.

I always tell Sasha that I love him and Demyan the same, but I love Sasha for 8 years longer. And it helped. They have total love and there is practically no jealousy. Sasha comes home from school and runs to Demyan to play with him.

And Dima established contact with Sasha himself, I didn’t interfere. By the way, he was afraid of women with children. He said that he would never marry a woman with a child in his life, because he himself grew up with a stepfather, and it wasn’t a very happy story. When I realized that we were starting a romantic relationship, I explained to Dima that he was not obliged to accept Sasha as his own child, but I would really like them to find a common language. And that’s what happened. Dima’s proposal to me was actually made by my child. Dima gathered us at the summerhouse to celebrate the May holidays and at some point said, “And now I will have a toast that Sasha will say.” At that moment, Sasha runs out of the house, rushes with a box with a ring and shouts, “Mom, marry Dima!” I, frankly, was taken aback, it was completely unexpected. That is, Dima already talked to him upon arriving at the summerhouse and said that he wanted to marry Mom. In general, they have their own relationship. Sasha loves Dima very much, Dima loves Sasha very much. This is the greatest female happiness.

When choosing between family and career, the artist admitted that she would choose family.

I hope that such a choice will not arise. But definitely family.

The singer also talked about what she would say if her children decided to go into show business.

I am very grateful to my mother that despite all her mistrust and skepticism, she signed the contract, although she considered it all idiotic and stupid. We were minors and had no right to sign papers. I asked her, “Mom, why did you let me go into showbiz?” And she answered, “I saw how your eyes were burning.” I would never forgive her if she had not signed. And I will not cause such pain to my children. They will do what they want. I have the opportunity to direct, advise, hire the right tutor, but the child still has to make the choice. And he should have the right to make mistakes. My mother thought that showbiz was a mistake, but it turned out to be the work of my whole life, which brought me great success and a good income. Therefore, let them do what they want. It is clear that you can’t kill and steal, you can’t treat people badly. But you can do whatever you want, if it does not harm other living beings.

Source: Intermedia.ru